Funny pic/Joke of the day
Moderator: dingo
Re: Joke of the day
ooooohhhh you did not just say that!!!!
Re: Joke of the day
A boy went to the grocers. "2kgs of sugar at $4.65/kg, 4 bags of coffee at $3.50/bag and 500g of butter at $3.20/kg.
How much is that?"
"$24.90," replied the assistant.
"If I gave you three $10 notes, how much change would I get?"
"$5.10"
"Thanks! That's my maths homework for tomorrow."
How much is that?"
"$24.90," replied the assistant.
"If I gave you three $10 notes, how much change would I get?"
"$5.10"
"Thanks! That's my maths homework for tomorrow."
Re: Joke of the day
From the mechanics' logs of repairs done on airplanes:
Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluidâ€
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normalâ€
Problem #2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepageâ€
Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluidâ€
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normalâ€
Problem #2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepageâ€
Re: Joke of the day
(payback for that joke about Cork Blondes 
)
The North Dublin quiz!!!
What does a Ballymun girl use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!
What do you call a 30 year old Coolock girl?
Granny!
What do you call an Eastwell girl in a white tracksuit?
The bride!
What's the first question on a Finglas pub quiz?
What the f**k are you looking at?!!
Two Finglas lads in a car with no music on...Who's driving?!
The Garda!
What is the most confusing day in Ballymun?
Fathers day!
)The North Dublin quiz!!!
What does a Ballymun girl use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!
What do you call a 30 year old Coolock girl?
Granny!
What do you call an Eastwell girl in a white tracksuit?
The bride!
What's the first question on a Finglas pub quiz?
What the f**k are you looking at?!!
Two Finglas lads in a car with no music on...Who's driving?!
The Garda!
What is the most confusing day in Ballymun?
Fathers day!
Re: Joke of the day
I took the family to a restaurant with movie memorabilia on the walls.
I found my 11-year-old daughter staring at a poster of Superman in a phone booth.
She looked puzzled.
"Doesn't she know Superman?" whispered the waiter.
"Worse," I replied, "she doesn't know what a phone both is!"
I found my 11-year-old daughter staring at a poster of Superman in a phone booth.
She looked puzzled.
"Doesn't she know Superman?" whispered the waiter.
"Worse," I replied, "she doesn't know what a phone both is!"
Re: Joke of the day
Things I have learned about relationships over the years, entry #1,398: When significant other sends you an email blasting you for something completely stupid that you did, do NOT, (no matter how much you want to) under any circumstance, reply to said email with, "HOW IRONIC THAT YOUR EMAIL ENDED WITH A PERIOD!" Nothing good can come out of it. Trust me
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pimptastic
- Posts: 531
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:56 am
Re: Joke of the day
So a guy is about to propose to his girlfriend and has already spoken to his father-in-law-to be. The only problem is that his girlfriend's cute younger sister is always flirting with him and he finds it hard to ignore.
One night he gets a text from the younger sister telling him to stop over at her place for a talk. When he arrives, she invites him in and confesses that she is desperately attracted to him physically and that if they are going to act on their feelings for each other, they have to do it now before he proposes. She says she will go upstairs to her bedroom and wait for him and he is welcome to come up. If not, no hard feelings.
As soon as she is out of sight the man abruptly turns on his heel and walks right out the front door.
He is met just outside by his father-in-law who says: "I knew you wouldn't do it! I'd be glad to call you my son."
The moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
One night he gets a text from the younger sister telling him to stop over at her place for a talk. When he arrives, she invites him in and confesses that she is desperately attracted to him physically and that if they are going to act on their feelings for each other, they have to do it now before he proposes. She says she will go upstairs to her bedroom and wait for him and he is welcome to come up. If not, no hard feelings.
As soon as she is out of sight the man abruptly turns on his heel and walks right out the front door.
He is met just outside by his father-in-law who says: "I knew you wouldn't do it! I'd be glad to call you my son."
The moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
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pimptastic
- Posts: 531
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:56 am
Re: Joke of the day
A Scotsman walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says...
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, Not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, Not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, You'd realize I was talking to the sheep."